9/18/2014 Testing, Testing, 1, 2, 3
Tuesday I had to have an endoscopy done. They are testing to see if I have Celiac Disease and I'm really anxious to get the results from the biopsies.
Ever since I can remember I've always had a lot of stomach aches and cramps. Over the years it got worse. It was so bad when I was in high school that I had to have a colonoscopy done at the age of 15. Seriously. They found nothing of concern then and I was just diagnosed with IBS (irritable bowel syndrome.) I really never did anything to control the IBS, I just lived with it, took Imodium if I needed it and kept going.
I'm not sure how or why all of a sudden but within the last year or two it's gotten out of control. Like seriously out of control. I'm not going into the TMI nitty gritty details but you get the picture. It's embarrassing and mortifying and down right just not something someone my age should be going through.
I have spent the last six months eliminating certain foods and drinks from my diet, going to figure this mystery intestinal problem out. I cut out coffee for three weeks, yes me cut out coffee. It made no difference. And so the story goes and I am now smoke free, dairy free, lactose free and gluten free.
I am free damn it!!!
In August I finally made my appointment with a GI. I was cigarette free and totally dairy free and yet I was still having severe problems. My appointment was 4 weeks out so I took it upon myself to experiment with a gluten free diet, along with my other eliminations. That was it. My "digestion" we'll call it changed to normal. My cramps went away, the gassy bubbles I could feel like a baby kicking started to go away, and although I had two weeks of really terrible, deadly smelling gas (TMI) that finally went away too! It was amazing to feel normal.
However, our bank accounts didn't think it was amazing. Being new to the gluten free world cost us an up of $200 tho our grocery budget that month. Oops. That's for a different post though.
By the time of my GI appointment I was actually feeling really good. But because of this new awareness to celiac disease and the fact that gluten is obviously a contributor to my problems I made sure to still take the appointment. What an awkward 10 minutes in that waiting room. Here I am, in my mid 20's, walking into the Gastroenterologist's office, surrounded by lots and lots of really old people. I just wanted to shrink into my chair and hide. Luckily though, the ladies at the reception desk were freaking hilarious. They were a really good distraction.
Then out comes the very tall, pretty damn cute, GI Dr. Tall and Handsome. Of course, my appointment was made with the cute young Dr. What the F@#!!!!! Lol no I am not on the market but I mean I do have eyes and human nature you can't help. He was attractive and I had to talk to him about my bowel movements and all that other embarrassing stuff. Yeah, yeah yeah I know it's his job but he couldn't have been some ugly old fat dude. Once I got over all of this out of my head he was pretty easy to talk to so it worked out. And so we decided to schedule an endoscopy to determine whether I do indeed have Celiac or to rule that out of the equation. The downside- I had to go back to a gluten filled life for two weeks. Dr. Tall and Handsome technically told me that all I really had to eat was like a slice of bread a day... nope. I decided well if this is going to be my last two weeks of gluten then I'm gonna gluten this shit up! I ate so much, too much.
Poptarts- I forgot how good they are.
Pizza- 6 slices of delicious possible death.
Chees-its- so cheesy.
I mostly ate the poptarts the entire two weeks. They were awesome.
Week 1 of back to gluten free was just gassy and crampy and more bathroom trips than necessary.
Week 2 was more like "omg someone fucking kill me now. This sucks. I'm dying. What's wrong with me? Make it stop! Is it Tuesday yet?"
It freaking sucked.
Monday night finally came and I was happy to be done with gluten. But I couldn't eat that night or the following morning so all I dreamt about the entire night was food. No lie.
Tuesday finally came! I got to see Dr. Tall and Handsome for a few seconds before they knocked me out. And can I just ask why GI's are good looking? Because the medical assistant who assisted Dr. Tall and Handsome ended up being Assistant Freaking Beautiful. Like I almost blurted out " woah you're pretty!" I'm glad I have a filter.
And that was all I remember. Anesthesia is like a really awesome but kind of scary nap. I dream a lot regularly so to have sleep with no dreams was a little off putting but I was happy for some extra rest.
Any who, they took some biopsies while in there and should have the results by next Tuesday.
Will update once the results are in.
Thanks for reading. :)
9/23/2014 The Results Are In!!
Celiac or not celiac? That has been the question! And we finally have an answer!
With a small sigh of relief, I can finally say "No, I do not have celiac disease." Phew!
However, this discovery is both good and bad. Obviously, the plus side here is I don't have this terrible autoimmune disease that is genetic and could potentially cause more serious future problems for myself and possibly my children. Okay, so it is pretty damn good news.
The negative side is that I still don't have a clear answer. The answer I do have is that this is just a severe gluten sensitivity that is either due to or contributes to my IBS. Great. It kind of sucks not having a definitive answer, but at least I have one right?
My dietary restrictions will remain as they are: gluten free; lactose free; and dairy free, and there may be more in the weeks and months to come.
I haven't totally researched it yet, but there is a FODMAP's dietary guide for IBS. It's a very wide ranged list of foods categorized as follows: High FODMAP's food (the bad for IBS foods) and Low FODMAP's foods (the good for IBS foods.) The lists are extensive with foods from all of the food groups.
:-o
That is where I feel overwhelmed by this and was almost wishing it could just be a gluten allergy. Finding recipes that are gluten free and dairy free is challenging enough! Now I might have to follow this list of extra limitations?! Freaking crap-o-la!
I think that learning to accept this fact, this fact of living with dietary restrictions, is going to be the hardest part. I was the girl who would eat anything and almost everything, who finished her plate and went for seconds and sometimes thirds. Now I'm the girl who lives by a long list of things she cannot eat. :-( How terribly sad for a food lover.
I will figure it out though. It will probably take a few years to master but I will do it, I have to do it. And once I'm done breastfeeding Jameson I will be able to take medications when I need them, such as public events, so that will be of some relief.
Right now it's just going to be a lot of gluten free baking practice, recipe research, diet research, eliminations and experiments.
Wish me luck and I will continue to update you!
10/20/2014 No Such Luck
It's been a month since testing, since answers, and I can tell you things have not gotten better. It is so sad.
I have only continued to get back to fully gluten free and lactose free. Unfortunately, my intestines are not satisfied with just that elimination. Stupid intestines, what did I ever do to you to deserve this? Like for real?!
I am officially attempting the Low FODMAPs diet I mentioned in my last entry above. I have to wait for Ryan's payday and a grocery shopping trip to be officially started (that's all tomorrow I hope and I fully intend to finally try out Price Chopper's Shops 4 U program.)
In some aspects this low FODMAPs diet is great on the sense of how healthy it is. For example, no high fructose corn syrup (HFCS) or artificial sweeteners. That's good. I don't like eating that genetically modified Crap anyway.
By the way, here is a big F U [insert middle finger here] to Monsanto!
But... did you know that HFCS is in basically every delicious condiment on store shelves?
Along with garlic, onion and tomato paste... yep, I can't have those three things either.
So long to anything having any flavor besides whatsoever salt and pepper!
Basically, low FODMAPs means low carbohydrates. Certain foods have certain sugars or carbs that with IBS you're intestines just can't digest. Like Fructans, fructose, polyols, and a couple others.
*BY THE WAY* I am not a doctor, nor are any of the facts on this page totally accurate. They are just what I remember and have retained from my infinite amount of Google and Bing searches. So for complete and accurate information, see a Dr or just freaking Google it.
Back to business:
About the high FODMAPs, there is something to be eliminated from almost every food group, except for meat unless it's breaded or preseasoned.
Not only can't I have gluten (a fructan) or lactose (milk sugar) I also can't have apples, garlic, onion, mushrooms, asparagus, cashews, watermelon, gum, HFCS, or honey. And that is just to name a FEW.
Anyone who loves food is probably like "fuck that!"
Let me tell you, last month that's the way I looked at it too.
Because I'm a big food lover!
And then I came across this one particular article (which I have to refind the link to.) The blogger went through a pretty similar situation as I am in, if not worse, to the degree that she had to eliminate most foods.
Awful, right?!
Well, what she had to say made a lot of sense to me and here it is in my own words.
We, especially as Americans, have an emotional relationship to food and we associate food with basically everything. We over-indulge, splurge, and are spoiled in our vast variety of food options. We have gourmet, we have prepared, we have decadent desserts, other worldly cuisines, we have a massive amount of choices. We LOVE our food. Why shouldn't we, it's so delicious and there are so many ways to make something delicious.
But we forgot one major thing during our long thirst for food knowledge... One basic rule of thumb that for a long time I will have to remember and follow every day... One motto that reminds me that this won't be that hard...
"Food is fuel."
Food is only fuel to nourish our bodies to make it through each day and it's activities. I don't need to eat something (especially unhealthy) just because I know it tastes good our it looks amazing. I only need to eat to be nourished and refueled.
I need to fall out of love with food.
If that is the mindset I need to keep to get through this, then I can certainly do that. I want to be able to make it through each day without being sick. I want to enjoy each day without this constant worry that I might get sick.
It's down to food or my health. Food or my life.
I'd much rather live healthier and content than enjoy that great family meal or a nice restaurant meal.
I'd rather feel good than eat that piece of cake.
Of course, it will be a struggle, especially when I'm out and about. And getting used to the diet to start will be difficult as well.
So to help me out a bit I made myself a days meal plan. It consists of a specific low FODMAP breakfast, lunch, dinner and two snacks. And this is what I'm going to eat, every day, for the next two weeks (starting from whenever I do my grocery shopping.)
I'm killing two birds with one stone with this plan. I will, one, hopefully start to feel normal and two, my break-up with food should be easier without variety.
I do also plan to make another appointment with my GI, the Dr. Tall and Handsome and possibly a dietician depending on their cost.
So, wish me more luck than the last time. And to anyone who had read this and can relate either in the past or present, I wish you luck and health and many feel better vibes and if you have any advice, tips or comments to please send them my way.
Thank you for reading and I'll update you all soon on any progress or lack there of.
Xo
5/28/15
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